Recap of Summer

Things with Danny really fizzled out. I just had enough of him, and gained the strength to cut ties with him at the end of April. Being single since then has been so hard. As I watch HGTV, and see couples buying their first homes and see couples out walking around the city, I get a bit jealous. I want that. I want someone to love and I want that exhilarating feeling of love. I want someone that makes me happy and feel like I am floating on cloud 9. I want to move to that next stage of marriage and sharing a life with someone.

So when summer started, I was anxious to get out and do things in the city. I know I have to put myself out there more. I need to meet more people. I need to be courageous and "unjudging".

However, summer started off slow. After school was over, I had to deal with moving my stuff out and putting my stuff in storage because I did not have a place to live yet. I stayed at my friend Danielle's and then went home for a week, and then came back to live at Danielle's. Living at Danielle's was boring. I felt trapped because she was in Jersey and I had to rely on her to get to NYC.

After all the trouble and hardships at the beginning of July, the end of July and the month of August have been great! I finally feel like I'm living. I'm finally meeting new people. I joined some meetups and actually went to the events.

The first dude of the summer is a French chef at a 4 star restaurant in NYC. He is Chinese, a bit squinty eyed and not that tall. He loves to eat and cook food. I could talk about food with him for a long time. I am awaiting for him to cook for me. He is a year younger and does not seem that mature intellectually. He seems to be only into food. It will be interesting to meet him and go out.

2nd dude that I have started talking to is a Vietnamese dude whom I met at the Viet meetup. He is a fashion designer. I believe he is french descent. He looks very much like Brian, but taller. He seems like a major risktaker and go getter. I like that he seems ambitious. He likes to eat too, and we can eat durian together. He seems fun. My one apprehension is that he can be intimidating.

3rd dude I just met last nite. Thinking about him, makes me smile, yet at the same time scared. He is African American, particularly West Indian. He is rather good looking and clean cut. I have an attraction towards him, but I feel like what I am feeling is lust or I feel exhilerated because he's different. I never dated a non-Asian. A non-Asian had never expressed interest in me, and he really likes me and thinks I am beautiful. It will probably not work out because I don't think we could connect intellectually. The next few weeks will probably be fun.

What I want in a Guy

What I Look for in a Guy

• Compatibility in Money Spending
• Well-educated
• Hardworking and Ambitious
  
• Dresses well (button up shirts, nice shoes, clean cut, sweater vests)
• Clean
  
• Enjoys cooking with me
• Cooks
• Fun
• Good Sense of Humor
• Integrity
• Loyal
• Generous
• Hardworking
  
• Attentive
• Thoughtful
• Likes a variety of food
• Easy going
  

What makes me SWOON

Guy...

• slowly undresses me and kisses me from neck down
• buying me a bouquet of mix flowers out of the blue
• cooks dinner and can look up recipes and cook gourmet meals
  
• is clean cut. He worries about what he wears with me
• who reads and has conversations about what he reads with me
• who is organized and tidy
• kisses on the forehead
  

Future Teaching Thoughts

YEsterday was the first day of open market. Unfortunately, I did not find any schools in my search. However, I am not too worried yet. It's still early. I am looking for a new job. My job is not too bad, but I could do better. I imagine my life better than this. I would be happy teaching elementary school, but if I must, I would be willing to teach middle school science again.

I've been thinking a lot about the future or how I would deal with new kids. The idea of starting off fresh with new kids thrills me. One thing, I hate about my current situation is that I loop with my kids. My mistakes continually stay with me.

Before I forget, I want to share that my first week of school with middle school students must be different. I will approach it differently. I need to warn students how miserable their lives would be if they don't cooperate. Tell them that I will call all the time, not call and one day call, or even make home visits. I would have the kids take a true or false test the 2nd day over my introduction, have the kids take another test on directions the third day, and have another test over prior knowledge on the fourth day. I need to scare these kids.

Happiness is not so much in having as sharing. We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give. -Norman Macewan

Being happy doesn't mean everything is perfect. It means you have decided to look beyond the imperfections. -unknown

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Right now, I am trying my best to look beyond the imperfections in my life. I am finally becoming thankful for what I have. Life is good.

I have a loving boyfriend. All the gripes I had about him can be changed through time. The most important part is that he cares for me. I definitely know he cares for me. He isn't perfect, but he is good for me right now. There is no need to worry about how he is years from now. All I know is that today, he is right behind me.

I have a loving and healthy family. They are not poor. They have shelter and are in good health. They are okay without me and are getting by happily.

I am thankful I have a job. I have kids that make me frustrated, but for the most part, I love them. They of course will always judge and think I am their enemy, but that is a-okay with me.

I am thankful my health is good. I do not have any major illnesses.

I am thankful that I have a few people I can count on. I at least have people I can count on and claim as friends. I am thankful that they think of me.

Before this, I had stressed myself out so much because of my own thoughts. All the stress I created on myself was unnecessary. I hope I don't fall in this black hole again. I have awakened again, and I am refreshed. I am all smiles now before bed. Gnite.